Stubby
July 20, 2007
Last night I was out to dinner with the girls when E brought up a cardinal sin she had made that made her husband give her the silent treatment. Hubby is a reasonable, lovely, responsible, man with a good sense of humour. He’s an Aussie bloke but not in the offensive ocker manner. So she’s telling the story of her downfall while I was sitting there hoping she hadn’t done something too stupid – girls do stupid things all the time you see – but when she finally revealed the truth of the situation I just sat there dumbfounded.
She borrowed his best stubby holder (his bucks night stubby holder), took it to a house party and accidentally left it there. A stubby holder (for the uninitiated) is a cylindrical piece of wetsuit type material that you put around the base of a bottle of beer (a stubby) so that when you hold it;
1) your fingers don’t get too cold
2) your beer doesn’t get too warm.
Apparently Australians spend a lot of time with beer in hand so ..yeah it’s an essential part of Aussie life. Hubby was NOT happy when he found out about this and told E in no uncertain terms that she was to get it back immediately. When her brother in law found out he also gave E a serve about it. When E brought it up at dinner last night the girls all made that ooooooooooooooooeeeerr sound that means “you’re in trouble, baby”.
I, was the only one who had no idea what everyone was in such a tiz about. I do realise that blokes love their stubby holders and how useful they can be when it’s a cold winter night and you don’t want your hand to freeze off (beer hand) but I had no idea to the depth of man-love for this simple invention! I just assumed that stubby holders were things that bogans were obsessive about but that the rest of normal society wanted to distance themselves from as much as possible (in the name of good taste). Apparently not my dear M, apparently not!
C said that her partner has a collection of stubby holders that he would never let anyone he didn’t like or “trust” use and instead bring out the the cheapo ones for the plebs. L said that one bloke she knew would hide his “good” stubby holders when he was having a house party so that they wouldn’t get stolen. E added that her hubby had a collection as well.
Well, blow me down with a feather. I am completely shocked about this facet of Australian bloke-land that I had no idea about.
What say you? Do you (or your bloke) have a stubby collection that they/you are obsessive about? Do stubby holders exist outside of Australia or is there some other irrational bloke thing that men in the Northern hemisphere are obsessed with? Girls, what do you think of stubby holders – Friend or fashion crime-Foe?
July 20, 2007 at 3:44 am
Ash doesn’t have any, but then I don’t let him drink beer very often (I hate the second hand beer breath thing)!!
July 20, 2007 at 4:04 am
It is a typical Aussie male thing. I’ve been to lots of parties where guys BYO their fave stubbie holder. Your poor gf.
July 20, 2007 at 4:49 am
They are called coozies here. They are pretty much disposable, but I guess if there was a favorite it might cause a slight annoyance.
Now a favorite T-shirt would be another thing altogether.
July 20, 2007 at 4:53 am
LOL
I have an antique Korean rice bucket filled with Stubby holders that I have collected from around the world…it sits by the bar and is there for any of my guests to use whenever I have a party.
It’s so my less Kultured friends do not have to BYO.
July 20, 2007 at 5:06 am
life – beer breath is the worst but sometimes you really can’t beat a cold one!! Is Ash sad about the beer ban?
linda – The BYO stubby holder thing is the FUNNIEST thing ever. It’s just crazy. OMG.
hammer – ahh so the stubby isn’t so important in the US of A then?
indy – I can’t believe you sullied an antique with STUBBY HOLDERS!! Do you BYO stubby holder to parties?
July 20, 2007 at 6:25 am
Ah, Hammer time must be a different time zone, cause we call it a cozy here in these parts.
There are rules about cozies:
1. Never EVER buy one. These things are given out as marketing junk everywhere, so there’s no point.
2. The crappier the product advertised on the cozy, the better.
3. Don’t pull one out at your party unless you have enough for everyone. That’s just rude, like the hostess that serves the box of wine for the guests and pours herself an nice pinot.
4. Cozies are understood to be community property. Don’t get upset if someone steals yours. Just steal someone else’s.
Hope that helps to bridge the gap between our cultures.
July 20, 2007 at 6:35 am
sometimes, but it has just meant he has to be allowed to upgrade to spirits instead *grins*
I hate beer of all forms, no matter what the weather!
July 20, 2007 at 8:19 am
I knew of this guy who had a stubby cooler called Bill, because it had a picture of Bill Clinton on it, and he used it and none other whenever he drank. We would go camping, and Bill would come along, we would go fishing, and Bill would come along, we would go drinking at a party and be sure, Bill would be there too. It was quite funny and cute. He had it for years before he actually lost it and still to this day, Bill is a fond memory to him, ha ha!
July 20, 2007 at 8:20 am
Oops, that was me who posted that last comment.
July 20, 2007 at 8:56 am
I’ve seen them here in the States, but they aren’t too common in Seattle. They mainly used to try and hide public consumption of alcoholic beverages. I think in warmer (read: party climates ) areas such as Calfornia and Florida they are much more common. I don’t have a stubby collection, but I do have a shot glass one.
Is there a Pemberton in Australia? I know there’s a Pemberton in Canada.
July 20, 2007 at 12:09 pm
bug – so, do men love them in the US and do women naturally shun them.
life – I must be very strange in that I don’t really like beer very much but sometimes I get total CRAVINGS for one. Very weird.
gena – ahahha, oh lord that is hilarious.
egan – I actually have no idea what Pemberton is but judging by the stubby holder it’s the place where good taste goes to die!
oh the shot glass collection is totally valid – though I did meet someone once who was a bloody obsessive about that too. Just HAD to have one from everywhere we went and if there wasn’t one to be had then it was all guns blazing! pfe.
July 20, 2007 at 1:39 pm
ummmm yea, i’m seriously judging aussie men at the moment! i kid, but only slightly!
we canadians love our beer but i’ve never heard of such an obsession!!!
i don’t see the big deal either M – so she left it behind. he’s just as liable to leave a child behind somewhere anyway…tit for tat.
July 20, 2007 at 10:08 pm
LMAO! I hadn’t never heard of a stubbie holder before tonight — I’m highly amused at the idea of drinking beer outside in the cold, and even that people have collections of these things! The sad truth is, I realised I have one. It was Australia day and I was in a pub several years ago now, and I think I won what they called a “beer mitt”. It would appear this is a stubbie holder, but handily attached to a glove. My friends threatened to disown me if I continued to use it.
But rest assured, stubbie holders don’t seem to exist in England. Maybe I should start rocking them?
July 20, 2007 at 11:02 pm
My brother outlaw is the one who loves these things. We buy him one every birthday and christmas..dunno, he just loves em.
July 21, 2007 at 5:05 am
“a place where good taste goes to die” ah yes Mez, well stated. That’s such a perfect way to phrase it.
I only did the shot glass thing once and that was on a road trip of mine across the States.
Sidenote: some foolish band decided to remake that hideous “Life is a Highway” song. What were they thinking?
Sidenote #2: Tim Tams and Lamingtons are very much to my liking. I’ve yet to use a Tim Tam as a straw though. I will tomorrow though.
July 21, 2007 at 5:22 am
Well that is the most bizarre think I’ve ever heard!!
If I were her, I’d burn the lot of em.
July 21, 2007 at 5:27 am
Actually, neither sex seems to have the abnormal attachment to our beer cozies like Ossie men seem to. Both sexes see them as ugly, but usefully tools to keep your beer cold on a hot summer day. We really don’t care what they look like or say or whether we lose them or keep them forever.
July 21, 2007 at 6:41 am
An american friend send me one about a year ago. We dont have themhere in Germany. Sadly I cant use it, because our beer bottles are to big and dont fit. Honest. With the recycling crazyness going on there are almost no aluminum cans left either, so it is just sitting there waiting for better days.
July 21, 2007 at 7:57 am
roselle – Aussie men are pretty much bogans at heart. Yes, sorry boys.
jay – this is because you guys LIKE your beer WARM! Beer mitt? haha that is hilarious! I dare you to start being obsessive about your stubby holder.
cazzie – lol, there’s always one in every family.
egan – #1 – are you KIDDING?
#2 – remember to only suck long enough to get the hot liquid up the length of the TT and then pop it in your mouth immediately. I’ve had so many TTs die a sweet death in my coffee because I sucked for too long. hm.
steph – thank god, someone else had no idea about this strange obsession.
bug – they are soo ugly. If they’re going to be a cultural obsession I don’t see why they can’t invent groovy looking ones.
mone – “Sadly I cant use it, because our beer bottles are to big and dont fit”
And there you have the perfect excuse!
July 21, 2007 at 8:05 am
#1: I’m not kidding. I think it was the Rascal Flats, but I can’t be certain.
#2: I tried the Tim Tam with milk. Damn that was a good treat too. Haven’t tried it with coffee. Your description above sounds mildly naughty and that’s what makes it so good.
Finally, I love that you also can’t stand Sting and John Mayer. They are both tools in my book.
July 21, 2007 at 4:04 pm
You know, if you’re worried about your beer getting warm, you’re drinking it too slow.
July 22, 2007 at 5:25 pm
ouPemberton is a town near the famous Whistler ski resort in Canada. I bet that’s where they came from. Woo hoo.
July 22, 2007 at 5:26 pm
Goodness. Losing stubby holders … was that it? … that’s ground for divorce in some parts of the US.
July 23, 2007 at 8:47 am
Ummm…does a a bear crap in the wood? Is a frogs bum water tight? Do Aussie men have stubby holder collections?…Ahhh Yes!
I have about thirty…they include hand tooled leather ones, a metal one and the all purpose neoprene type. I have my favourite/s and they are never lent out and woe the guest that turns up without a cooler. I used to have one that doubled as a wallet and wrapped around my wrist with velcroe. I have collected them from different parts of Australia and events I have attended. Our work even issued one to everyone espousing safety but they printed it upside down lol
July 23, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I’m with Hammer. I call them coozies, not cozies. I have a few free ones, so yes it does seem the trashier the better.
July 23, 2007 at 2:03 pm
I once had a stubby holder with: “CAPE YORK EMERGENCY KIT” on it. It outlined the details of how to pen a beer in times of extreme emergency.
On a road trip to byron (via brisbane) left it at a mate’s place and it’s subsequently never been seen since.
I often toy with the idea of going all the way back up to cape york just to buy another one.
July 24, 2007 at 10:54 am
egan – sting and john Mayer are worse than Voldemort and Malfoy combined!
michael – hahahaha. True, true.
egan – damn those ski towns and their tacky stubby holders.
dan – …we do have a high divorce rate here now that you mention it.
scorpy – you expect guests to BRING THEIR OWN?! Tell me you wouldn’t lend a stubby holder out to damsel in distress!
sarah – coozies, cozies or whatever just sounds weird!
sd – hah! you should send out a distress signal on your blog and see if anyone lives there!