Cinema under the stars on a balmy night

The sun had already disappeared behind the buildings by the time we got there. This is the last pretty place left during this drought I sighed as I lowered myself down onto the grass. The lawns were filling up quickly, some families with their children in tow, a couple of lone spectators, girlfriends toasting the summer and couples snuggling into the crooks of each others necks. I notice the little knowing smiles on their faces. I look around at all of us, brightly animated, relaxed and happy. From above we must look like a giant patchwork quilt of colour.

E is swatting at her legs – the mosquitoes a menacing beast. L is busying herself with preparing the food and I am looking out over the wave of people around me. A group of men sharing a slab of beer. A couple smiling at each other. A father, rocking his young daughter to sleep in his arms. He looks at her adoringly. My eyes notice a young woman directly in front of me sitting alone on a picnic rug. Her lipstick is freshly applied and hair looks immaculate. She is a vision… waiting to be viewed. She rearranges the cheese platter a thousand times while looking at her watch, then at her phone and then out towards the entrance. I follow her gaze, hoping to see a man rushing, late, anxious – but there is nothing but more families and giggling girls.

The sky darkens into a hue of mauve, indigo and pink. People are settling into their rugs, lazily picking at their dips and crackers. E is talking about her new pup and L is offering sound advice to stop the night time whining. I am scratching the back of my legs. Stupid prickly grass. The girl with the shiny hair stares at her phone intently. She picks it up to make a call. Frown, hushed whisper, Where are you? But you said.. She hangs up and looks down at her cheese platter. She wipes at her eye – it is a fleeting movement – quick, embarrassed, frustrated. She turns away and looks at the sky.

This brightly coloured patchwork quilt of people are now shadowy silhouettes against the dusky sky and sad girl with the immaculate hair and lipstick looks so alone on her rug for two. A couple of bats fly overhead at the botanical gardens – the last remaining few of a colony relocated elsewhere.

The movie starts and I am staring at sad girl. I would have left by now whispers E. I’d be digging into the food and watching the movie offers L. I’m not sure of what I’d do if I was Sad girl. I think I would have started to cry, but pretended I wasn’t.

The opening song has settled the children and there is a strange hush over the crowd as they watch, enthralled by the action on the large screen. Then suddenly from nowhere, there he is – bespectacled and casual. Sad girl looks up and the sadness disappears. I can almost see the lights of electricity dancing around her hair with excitement. He plonks down beside her and gives her a kiss on the cheek. She beams up at him. He will never know how sad she felt when she thought he wouldn’t come.

McLovin’

Stuff I’m just loving right now.

Innovative Internets:

Wainy Days

(That link takes you straight to the site mydamnchannel which has all the episodes – is better quality than below – YouTube version)

This is a new internet channel show (actually it’s been around for a while) created by the masterful and hilarious David Wain (whom I am going to go on record right now as LOVING and wanting to have his babies). The show takes a look at the dating dos and do nots of a perpetually single guy in his late 30s living in NYC. So far there are 20 episodes of completely inappropriate humour that often goes way too far and answers the eternal question: So THAT’S what they’re really thinking. Okay, not really but it’s HILARIOUS. Love how all the friends work in a sweat shop. What’s with that?

Many special guest stars – mostly from old projects like The State, Stella and Wet Hot American Summer.

I love this show so much it hurts <3<3<3

(If you’re over at MyDamnChannel I also highly recommend the soap opera spoof “Horrible People” and “You Suck at Photoshop” which are both also HILARIOUS!)

US Cable TV

Dexter.

This one is old news but for those who have not been initiated yet Dexter is the nicest sociopathic serial killer you could ever hope to meet. He’s on the Miami Police Force payroll as a blood splatter expert and he only kills people who really deserve it. Honest. No one has a clue that he’s a serial killer…well not yet anyway. His adopted father (a cop) taught him how to cover his tracks and Dexter has been following his golden rules to great success so far. The problem is that his sister’s also on the force and she’s getting a little too close for comfort…

A must see, definitely one of the best shows coming out of the US.

Superficial TV

Greek

Only a few people are really going to appreciate this one but I’m putting it out there anyway. Take one big Geek from high school and put him in college (sounding a little like Undeclared so far eh?) where his geekiness shines on like a crazy diamond. The problem is that his sister is the most popular girl on campus – uh oh. Bro comes along and makes friends with his sister’s secret ex boyfriend who is not exactly the kind of clean cut all American boy that sis wants to be associated with anymore. Things start to get a little complicated for all concerned when it turns out that sis still has a thing for the bad boy …which is probably not a good idea, since she’s going out with Mr Big Man on Campus.

Seriously much less superficial than I’ve made it sound. No really it is. Okay not that much less superficial, but still good tele.

The lead guy is also in the show “Quarterlife”, which started out like Wainy Days, as an internet short. It centers around a 20-something girl who blogs all day about her friends and housemates. Unfortunately they all discover her blog and she has to explain herself.

Reality TV

Project Runway.

I have been loving this show for years now. It never gets old. Take a bunch of struggling fashion designers and give them horrendously early deadlines by which to finish major pieces of fashion extravaganza that are challenging to make (ie: using only materials from the Hersey’s chocolate store??). Then they all parade their models down the catwalk and the worst outfit is eliminated with a swift auf Wiedersehen from host; Heidi Klum. Brilliant and engaging reality TV! The contestants are amazingly talented people with a desire to succeed. The prize is a show at New York Fashion week and money to start your own business. As someone related to a fashion designer I know how difficult this industry is. The real star of the show however is Tim Gunn who is the contestant’s mentor and father figure.

“Make it work!” <3

Retro Love

You know how back in the old days you’d make a mix tape for the people you love? Do you feel that a mix CD is a bit …I dunno; sterile? Do you actually know anyone who still plays tapes with any kind of regularity?

I love me a mix tape and here you have all the joy of a mix tape without the fuss of actually dealing with rewinding and fast forwarding through the songs you hate (for youngies…yes that’s what we used to do back in the old days). It’s a USB stick of around 60minutes of playing time that fits nicely into the tape for packaging purposes. You get to scribble all over the liner card and the gift recipient gets to keep a lovely keepsake while still enjoying the convenience of plugging that sucker into the laptop and downloading all those songs onto his/her ipod. Seriously, cool AND filled with squishy retro love.

Oz TV

Underbelly

click link to go to a video news story about the show and murders

All this killing and stuff went right on in my backyard (so to speak). Makes ya proud don’t it? Yeah, okay maybe not. Carl Williams is apparently unhappy with his portrayal on the show. Christ, beggars can’t be choosers mate.

Oz Blog

The Breakfast Blog

Right now he’s in Boston so it’s all a bit pointless and boring, but once he gets back to Melbourne it’ll be full steam ahead for The Breakfast Blog. The thing I love about this site, besides the fact that it details one of my favourite things (a good breakie …that I don’t have to cook) the site is remarkably easy to navigate and just all round informative. It gives you details on the price (with the nifty price index tag), tells you where the place is, indexes in alphabetical order, location AND by top scores. I love it. I use it. It’s brilliant and Jamie is rarely wrong. The man knows a good breakfast!

Bless!

Games:

Scrabulous

I know I should somehow feel ashamed but actually I don’t. I am, for the record the world’s WORST scrabble player. I did not grow up playing scrabble on Sunday evenings and drinking chocolate milk while my parents played footsies with each other under the coffee table while listening to Tapestry on the record player. Sorry, you must have be mixed up with the Keatons or the Seavers. I think I must be trying to relive the youth I never had or something because I’m totally into the scrabble revival!

Yes, I totally look up words online and cheat. pfcha! Course!

Magazines

Nylon. It’s quirky, it’s Rock N Roll, it’s totally fashion oriented but in a completely approachable way (finally!). It’s just fun. It doesn’t feel like it’s only for girls though I suppose girls mostly read it. It’s a little on the expensive side though.

There is an Australian magazine which I love just as much: Frankie – and REALLY love the fact that it comes with a rip out poster that I always put aside and use as wrapping paper. I like a mag that provides a little something extra.

Poster – dude, because Ro edits it and because it’s swish and glam and makes me wish I was about a million times more stylish than I actually am. It’s art, fashion, it’s a city scape all in one – it’s not your usual kind of magazine. This one is seriously going to go places. It already has in fact. <3

Book

Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics – Sasha Cagen

Reading To-Do List recently made me go back and re-read this old gem which Cagen wrote first. I’m more convinced now than ever that I’m a bona fide quirkyalone. It’s a manifesto for all those eternally single people – not just girls mind you. Read the essay here. It explains a lot.

Movie

The King Of Kong

I recently went to see this little documentary for a laugh but I became so emotionally involved that I almost scared myself. In fact the whole cinema was booing and cheering a long with it – unheard of in Melbourne!

If you go see one thing at the cinema this year make it this movie – go RIGHT NOW. You will not regret it – you can not make this stuff up. This is a documentary about playing the arcade game Donkey Kong – remember that one? Anyone who was a kid in the 80s would remember the game, it’s a classic. This documentary shows the seedy underbelly of video gaming – a side of gaming that is run by manipulation, threat and a man frightened of losing his world record score to a newcomer.

It’s so very good. <3<3

And there you have the stuff I’m loving right now.

What are you loving? Share!

not a to-do list

I’ve been reading Sasha Cagen’s new book “To-do List”, which is an interesting exploration of why people make lists and for what purpose they do so. The way I think about things is often in a chaotic way. I am not am ordered person by any stretch of the imagination – I constantly flirt from one thought to another often without regard to whomever is listening (yes, I do it when talking/writing too).

I’m miscellaneous to the extreme but there are other parts of my personality that are all about being exacting and precise. I like the idea of being an ordered person but at the same time people who actually ARE really disturb me. Regardless, I do make lists, I never stick to them and often after I make them I invariably lose them somewhere and end up following what I like to think of as the holistic approach to getting things done, but is really about just hoping that things come together at the last minute. Often my lists are as chaotic as myself. I start off with what I might need to buy at the supermarket but end up somehow at point #13 or so with “change the world” and/or “figure out a way to fit all my CDs in my car without them ending up on the floor” – depending where my thoughts are at that time. I’m not sure how I imagined I would somehow change the world (or my car cleanliness habits) between 9 and 11am on a Sunday morning but somehow that’s just how things work in my head. I like making lists.

Here is one of my more ordered lists – mostly because the topic “things I wonder about” is so miscellaneous in itself.

In other news has anyone seen the new Joy Division documentary currently screening at Nova? I’m a big fan of JD as well as New Order. Ian Curtis’ story is such a sad one and it was interesting to hear the former band mates’ take on his suicide and their surprise at it and ..even guilt. The doco has come out on the heels of the movie Control which told the story of Ian Curtis’ life. I meant to play Joy Division as my Musical Monday after seeing Control but something got in the way. I won’t let it happen this time. The band was too good to be forgotten a second time – dark but so, so good.

Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division

Transmission – Joy Division

Atmosphere – Joy Division

Babies and femmos.

Being a non-babied up person living in a world where it seems like everyone has spawned has afforded me the opportunity to observe things without being too emotionally involved. I have my pet peeves with how mums and dads behave just like I have my pet peeves by how ordinary everyday people behave. In fact, one might argue that I have a lot of pet peeves. Oh well, I’m peevey – you really got a problem with that?

A little issue has arisen lately in baby-land and I have to say, it’s given me more peeves than ever thought possible. I’m talking about how people react to the weight of babies. Now I realise that weight is probably the most important way that one can distinguish how healthy a baby is but I’m not talking about that. It’s the language that people use.

My friend S’s little miracle (really, he actually is – spend first couple of months at the Children’s hospital and really was touch and go for a while there) has been growing in leaps and bounds since he was released from the hospital. Really he is one of the cutest babies in the world. He’s one of those babies that strangers will boldly approach and want to hold. Things started off a little rough for the poor guy but now he’s doing well. In fact when people see him how they ALWAYS comment about what a big boy he is, and how chubby he is getting and …hey maybe mum should be putting him on a little feeding restriction. The thing is little N is not like those big babies you see on Phil Donohue where the baby is actually half the size of mum at 1 year of age and looks basically like an adult in diapers (though, I might be confusing this with a whole other episode of Donohue). Little N is in fact precisely in the 50th percentile for his weight. He’s the epitome of normality. He’s not 1 percent below or above he’s just right. Meanwhile mothers of babies born on the 15th percentile are commenting about what a chubbster N is – not in a nice way either – in an I’m slightly worried about your baby way – patronising, utterly patronising. Like as if being born thin and still thin is somehow better than than being normal and healthy.

The reason why it’s a peeve of mine is that I can see where this is leading. We already have this preoccupation with children’s weight and the so-called obesity crisis in children. I wish I could link to an entry that “pubby” wrote about this issue but he’s taken his blog off-line – but he also asked whether these figures were sincere because he hadn’t noticed that suddenly all these kids were supposedly fat. I work with kids. I see kids everyday and there is probably 1 per class who is overweight. IF THAT. I don’t have any this year at all. In fact I’m looking at all the children I know who started school this year and there is not ONE who would even be considered chubby – that’s almost 100 new children! Figures point to something like 40% of children being fat but from what I’ve seen it’s actually about 5% which is called a NORMAL DISTRIBUTION of fat folks. Maybe it’s 10% in some areas…yes, more concerning but still, hardly an epidemic! I don’t know if figures are being inflated or whether the way we measure fat is right off the scale (pun intended) but if it’s an epidemic then I don’t bloody see it at all.

The point is the weight obsession starts with babies. All these mothers (let’s face it, mostly mums) are obsessed with talking about the weight of their own children but not only that, I sense some smugness and defensiveness about weight, depending on where on the percentile the baby falls. Once I commented on how F’s baby J had grown into a big boy. I hadn’t seen him in about 3 months and he was like a new child. So what, he got big! Big deal, it’s great, it’s called growing. But I got flicked with the end of the wrath stick quick smart by F who snapped that actually he’s only on the 30th percentile now and not big at all. Okay, sorry didn’t think I was suggesting that your baby was a sumo wrestler but hey, whatever.

Incidentally why is it so wrong to say that a female baby is a “big strong girl”. Ever try saying that one? It’s like you’re saying “hey I’ve just noticed that your daughter is a big fat dyke. I can see that she’s a breath away from letting her body hair get to unflattering lengths and start listening to angry girl rock” I thought, growing was supposed to be a good thing! Maybe not in girls.

In other news concerning dirty femmo stuff, I was intrigued by a column in Sunday’s Age by Angela Pippos “What’s Wrong with Being a Fashionista Feminist Anyway?” where she addresses just how diverse feminists are in this era. She also says

I’m a feminist. Was that so hard?
It’s really not a big deal. I simply believe that women should be given the same opportunities as men. Throw me in in the river and see if I float. It’s hardly radical but, in my experience, any mention of the “f” word in male company can bring on a type of behaviour often seen in a David Attenborough documentary, followed by a sudden attack of mundane questioning”.

She goes on to list a few examples of questioning she is immediately dealt by affronted men “Do you expect men to open doors for you?” “Do you want a man to pay for dinner on a first date?” etc. You know the typical questions asked of femnos that makes everyone want to stab their eyes out. What really interests me about her column is the underlying question for me about feminism. Why is it still a dirty word? Yes, I’m being serious. In all my years of being a feminist I’ve never met one who hates men. I’ve never met one who burns her bra. I’ve never met one who spends all night planing to picket the local men’s club or any of the other stereotypes that are prescribed to so called ..here is comes “feminazis”. Do I know lesbian femmos? Of course. Does that mean ALL feminists are gay? Do I know femmos who are frustrated by the status quo and frustrated by some perceptions perpetrated by men. Hell yes, does that mean that they are frustrated with men in general? Pssssh, I don’t think so. I hate that type of generalising of feminists that happens but actually has little grounds in reality.

I don’t know about you but when I hear the old “you’re a man hater” (often comes in a feminist type entry) and it’s been written here on this journal as well me reading it on so many other feminist blogs that I’ve lost count – I often think that the person writing it either has shit for brains, doesn’t actually KNOW any feminists or rather…doesn’t KNOW any women AT ALL or that maybe..just maybe THEY don’t really like women all that much themselves, or feel threatened by them expressing an opinion – whatever. The fact that I *am* a feminist and I don’t actually know ANY feminists who hate men NOR do I hate them myself sort of makes me wonder why on earth that’s a phrase that is so easily thrown around by others when confronted with someone who claims to be a feminist? I mean I always hear about these so-called feminists who are supposed to hate men, usually it comes in the form of “yeah I know a feminist who hates men” but you know..it’s sort of like an urban myth to me. Have you heard the one about the lady with the boil on her face that exploded and 50 tiny spiders came out? Yeah, that common. If anything feminists have so much problem in appearing a unified group with unifying beliefs in the first place that *men* aren’t even the issue. It’s women and what women think that is more of an issue.

Perhaps it’s that feminist discourse is centered around the fact that things are not quite right in the world of woman. That there are certain issues that affect our gender and those issues maybe be life threatening or indeed socially confining to women. Maybe there’s some resentment too, that women get the focus for this type of discourse? The fact that they are discussed might be a little too confronting for some people and confused with hate – when really it’s not about hate at all, it’s about getting answers and asking WHY does this happen to women? Is that a wrong question to ask? I certainly don’t think so. It does NOT negate the FACT that things happen to men too and that is an important point. That in fact we are all individuals who have shit happen to us at some stage or another and that there are issues for men that are just as concerning that in fact SHOULD be discussed too. They should be discussed by the same people that are complaining that are sick of hearing about women’s issues and say that yeah, men have issues too can’t you see that? Well, dude, discuss away! Indeed, asking why the world is a certain way is not about hating anyone. It’s about trying to get answers about how things are and perhaps start discourse that will affect change. One can only hope anyway.

I know that discussions about rape, prostitution, maternity leave and domestic violence gets a lot of backs up, especially with men but the fact of the matter is that these things DO happen and they DO happen mostly to women and the fact that we make up more than half the population means that it’s something that everyone should be worried about. These are things that SHOULD be discussed widely and without refrain. It happens and the fact that it happens disturbingly often to one gender over another is a cause for feminist discourse. Live with it! I’ve read so many “anti-feminist” blogs (mostly written by anonymous people with anonymous comments – just goes to show doesn’t it?) that will reference one article where a woman has beaten her husband in a show of domestic violence. Yes it happens and this is horrible. I don’t want to diminish that – but the anti-feminist blogger will then say (and this happens in almost 100 percent of all anti-feminist bloggers) something along the lines of “and now you see why I refuse to get involved with all women. Women are evil etc etc”. This is in direct opposition to most feminist blogs which takes issue on women’s issues in society and how that affects us and in fact are a celebration of female achievement in the arts and culture. They are positive places that actually reserve any condensation of men to specific examples ie: THIS MAN said something not quite right about women. THIS MAN is wrong. Whereas the anti-feminist blogs that I’ve read are all about generalising one act to mean *all* women and being defensive about it too. Perhaps I’ve yet to come across a anti-feminist blog that is about being male positive instead of female negative. I’m know that there are some feminist blogs that really ARE venomous about a lot of things too, including men but definitely not the popular ones. The popular feminist blogs are generally very political places that invite discussion by men and indeed a lot of them have a dedicated male following too.

For the record I have read many male written gender positive blogs that have nothing to do with anti-feminism – they don’t shy away from bringing up issues that are specific to men either! They are great and there should be more of them. They write about male and female issues with sex, violence and everything in between and they are so great because they don’t fall into that age old trap of ‘what I admire about women is their breasts, bum, legs, they look beautiful, they smell beautiful’ – which is quite typical in what DOES tend to get written about women from a male perspective. I mean that kind of blog is great and all but male blogs that go beyond that REALLY need to be applauded for being so great – and they’re not great because I agree with them, because I don’t always, they’re great because they are truthful without falling into “all feminists are bitches” type rhetoric.

Considering that not all feminists are the same, nor do any of the old stereotypes stand up why is it that the F-word is still a dirty one?

Anyway, on to Musical Monday in this haphazard post of mine. Of course, let’s just complete the entry with a reference to Kat Bjelland; an artist I’m pretty much so in awe of I can’t quite figure out the right words. She looks like an angel but has the voice of a terrifying demon. That’s the best I can come up with. In the early days she cavorted around with Courtney Love and Jennifer Finch experimenting in a couple of bands before all went their separate ways and all became highly influential artists in their own right, with their own bands. I sigh here as I make the distinction and say they were ‘female centered’ bands – grrl rock if you will. Why? Oh because I’ve featured many, many bands who have all male members and sing about manly things but never distinguished them by saying ‘all male’ or ‘male centered’. It’s funny how these distinctions work in rock for women as opposed to men but there you have it.

Babes in Toyland had been around for a good many years before I got into them. I was completely taken with Kat Bjelland and in particular her rock operatic meets screaming banshee type singing voice.

She was a cheerleader in high school by the way.

A cheerleader AND a dirty femmo too. Oh my god, is your mind about to explode? Yes, it’s true, us dirty femmos aren’t just one type of person. I guess, that was my whole point. Mothers can be feminists. Hot girls can be feminists. Women who love men can be feminists. Scientists can be feminists. Radio personalities can be feminists. Men can be feminists. Cheerleaders can be feminists. It’s not just one type of person. And for the record I’ve read many a comment implying that those people mentioned above CAN’T be feminists – like mums can’t be feminists. ha! Well I’m linking right here to a GREAT entry by a femmo mum who outlines some great points about how to raise your daughter a feminist and you know what? The initial question about ‘how do I raise my daughter a feminist?’ came from a bloke. How’s that for breaking down a few barriers. Yes folks, it’s not actually about man hating. Sorry to disappoint – on with the music.

Bruise Violet – Babes In Toyland (apparently not about Courtney Love..but I doubt it! lol).

Sweet 69 – Babes in Toyland

From Little things Big Things Grow

Working in a school I know that “sorry” is a word that is of paramount importance. One encounters it on a daily basis, an hourly basis even. It’s apparent to me and has always been, that only the truly arrogant do not see the point in saying sorry. It’s the same children that can’t give a sincere apology that find it hardest to not only make friends, but more importantly keep friends. It’s those that can’t say sorry, that also have problems empathising, problems sympathising, problems engaging and problems growing emotionally as humans. Some never say it at all – steadfastly refusing on some technicality never realising that the word is symbolic of mate ship – the one true Australian value. Some children need to understand a situation better before they will utter it, some will take the responsibility on the chin and say it when it needs to be said and others still will say sorry even on behalf of their friends because they know that sorry is not always about blame but also (and most importantly) about comforting someone to the point where they are then able to move forward.

And so, with this in mind the collective we: Australians who cared about taking a united step forwards, waited today for the word we knew was aimed to give comfort, to put a hand on the shoulder of a whole race of people, our oldest people, and say not ‘we regret that..’ but that we are sorry – because when all is said and done this is what a friend would say to another friend. I’m sorry, you didn’t get that job. I’m sorry your mother died. I’m sorry this bad thing happened to you. And yet, this devastating issue of an indigenous generation ripped away from their families many years ago now, had not heard that simple two syllable word…until today.

And it was said.
And it was good.
And hopefully from this little thing big things will grow.

From Little Things Big Things Grow – Paul Kelly (written with Kev Carmody) (A song worth listening to)

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At the Movies

Hang up the Chick Habit.

A few months ago I saw the Tarantino movie Death Proof and it got me thinking. For the record, I am a fan of his work – mostly for his brilliant use of quick dialogue but also for the blur that exists in his depicting a concrete era. I like the fact that Pulp Fiction is 50s influenced however also very much a contemporary look at the culture at the time. It’s like all of his work, not quite retro, not quite a homage but very much flavourful of a genre or era without being overpowered by it. I also happen to think he has flawless taste in music and so, no matter the film I know that the soundtrack will be a killer.

I remember though when PF came out. Tarantino got a lot of flack for
a) language.
b) violence.
c) lack of strong female characters in his work.

Personally I think all three were bogus complaints all based in truth of course, but bogus nevertheless. I enjoyed the language and violence and if a man can’t make a boy centered movie with a bit of grit then I don’t want to know him. Yes, he uses excessive language and yes some of the scenes in all of his movies are disgusting. So what? Deal with it.

Tarantino was a smart cookie though, he saw how popular his character Mrs Mia Wallace (from PF) was among both ladies and gents that he addressed his lack of strong female leads quick smart and made one of the most kickarse lady movies ever – Kill Bill vol 1 and 2. Death Proof once again looks at female leads, however, he also adds in a strong male character to mix it up: Stuntman Mike.

The movie Death Proof has two parts within the movie – and this is going to be full of spoilers folks… The first part – three girls who think they are “badass” take to the road, visit a bar meet Stuntman Mike and end up dead. The second part – another group of girls, take to the road, visit a diner, meet Stuntman Mike and kick the shit out of him.

What was different? And just how did the second lot of girls outsmart and out kick Stuntman Mike? I mean, this guy had his sadist act down. He has a death proof car folks and he was not afraid to use it to kill women of his choosing.

Let’s just have a little look see at wider society and women. One could argue in this era of post-feminism we have two kinds of women – women who don’t take any shit and women who do. Of course, the reality is that there are many kinds of women, all individual – but this is a MOVIE guys, let’s be serious – plus, we’re looking at generalities here and in terms of a generality this would be right. Shit takers and shit givers. One could argue the same for men as well. People. People are shit takers or shit givers.

The shit takers in this movie would be seen in the first part of the movie. They are the hot, sexy girls who flirt with any man that moves. Why? Well just because they can folks, just because they can. For the record, no man complains about this fact. Who doesn’t want a hot girl dressing sexy and flirting with them? Hell, did I mention they are hot? The guys are lining up to buy them drinks and the girls accept the drinks, give the boys a little sugar by way of kisses and flirting and then leave. Hell, that’s their prerogative, girls don’t have to put out if they don’t want to do they? These girls in part one, in no uncertain terms know what they want. They are not stepford wives. They are not on a hunt for a husband. They are not gold diggers or any of that. They have careers and their own minds. This is very important to the plot because in no way are we to think of these girls as traditionally “weak”.

Things for these girls seem pretty peachy. Everyone thinks they are a lovely, and they are. In the land of successful females they go very far. The thing is though, even though they seem so in control of their lives they are not. All men’s interactions with these girls are only based on sex. The men buy drinks for them because they want sex. The girls promise lap dances for a certain password from men. In fact they are much more crude than the men in the film – they would see themselves as the type of women who are empowered by their sexuality. Watching the movie, you get that impression too. Their “careers” (or just the way they live their lives) are based around sex, or being sexy. Now, sex is a powerful tool and it has been theorised ad nauseum that sex is the most powerful tool that a woman can have in this world. I’m inclined to agree that it IS but I also happen to think that this SUCKS. It means that our options are quite limited if we want to be successful doesn’t it? Here’s what I think about these kinds of women: women who use sex to their advantage in dealings with men (by sex I mean flirting, being sexy to get what they want etc) are not the kind of women I like. I think they are selling all of us short and quite frankly demeaning themselves. HOWEVER, I do think that women who do use sex as power get very far. Mostly because our society rewards this kind of behaviour from women, rather than from men.

So why then do these women die if they have all the power? Well because like all people with only one source of power they are easy targets. These are the girls who are watched and while there is power in being ‘beheld’ there is absolutely no autonomy. All their power is based in sex and so when you take that away – ie: you’re not interested in their sex then you render them completely powerless and useless. They don’t matter any more. They are nothing. And Stuntman Mike, he’s a sadist from way back, he doesn’t care about the sex – only the cruelty that comes with exploiting that. They have no power when it comes to him and rightly so; they all die. Now you see why I think those girls who base all their power in sex sell the rest of us short. They don’t really prosper in dire situations – and life itself is one dire situation after another really.

Enter part 2; 14 months after the part 1 girls have been brutally murdered by Stuntman Mike. Life has changed dramatically in this time. The opening shot, of a cheerleader makes you think that these are going to be yet another bunch of archetypal females that make male fantasies churn, and yet it is realised immediately that this is a big joke on us. These girls might be watched but they also do the looking, and the choosing. These girls are nothing like the ones that came before. It feels like one decade has gone by, socially speaking, rather than only a year. Enter our four main protagonists – again, all sexy/pretty girls who hang out in a male dominated world. They talk about their boyfriends, they talk about their jobs – but they pay their own way. These girls are lovely as well, but they just do their own thing. Their power is based somewhere outside the realm of sex, though it is apparent that they are not abstaining from sex, nor from men. They are just not concerned with flirting it up with randoms. Stuntman Mike notices them though and he’s getting ready to kill again but something happens: The girls won’t be bullied. He can’t take away their sexual power by hating them, because their power isn’t based in sex. They’ve got something different going on.
1) They stick together when it counts.
2) They make their own fun.
3) They are not afraid to get down and dirty.

This is extremely different from the girls in part 1. Both sets of girls have their own jobs and have lives and their own money. On the surface they are poster children for ‘new woman’ – but as always it’s the inside that counts. The part two girls aren’t basing their power in sex. They don’t need their sexuality reaffirmed everywhere they go. And so, when Stuntman Mike approaches them, they aren’t scared into a corner by him, nor are they titillated or charmed like the part 1 girls were. Sure the circumstances were different in part 2, but in the end the part 2 girls were not to be beaten down and killed. They got back on the horse and chased the man down and then beat him until he died. As in, with their bare hands. I have to make the distinction that they’re not targeting normal everyday guys – they aren’t the perpetrators of violence but they can turn it on when someone else starts it – I love that.

In the second part, the twist is that the girls win. Which comes as a surprise because actually no one expects that to happen – it’s so rare in a movie of this sort (slasher/car movie – incidentally movies I grew up watching – especially car movies which I had major nightmares about). These women also stick together and this is an important point. When women base their power in sex then you can easily tear them apart – you don’t even have to try. This is because when you have a group of women who all base their power in the reaffirmation of their sexuality and you add one man into the mix then that group of women will immediately begin tearing each other down in order to get to the man. I’ve seen it a million times before with girlfriends. In the case of the movie you have the part one girls arguing about whether to take the guys home with them, even though they all agreed not to. And you also have them exchange rivalries with each other over men. This isn’t good when you’re trying to make it out alive. The part two girls stick together and don’t have any interest in being rivals at all. It’s why they come out alive.

I guess what I’m saying is, and Tarantino touches on it to, that there are girls who look to men to reaffirm their sexuality and those girls are always going to be beaten down because not only does that not last forever but also there will always be people who will want to exploit that. Hell society exploits that all the time. It may be a HUGE power source to be perpetually sexy – but it’s also one of the EASIEST to exploit and manipulate. A girl who is thought of only as a sum of body parts (only praised because she has a great arse or great legs or whatever it is that is admired at the time) is easily cut down into body parts when it comes down to it. She’s never whole, she’s just legs, or neck, or lips etc. That kind of blows. If a girl only has that going for her then she doesn’t really have all that much at all and if that’s all she’s admired for then it says little about those doing the admiring. You see these kinds of girls everywhere, in life and in blog-land too funnily enough. Sometimes words are enough without pictures even. Everything comes back to sex – or rather to the odd comment or entry that screams; ‘remember, I’m sexy!’. Couple that with being ultra competitive with other women and you have someone who is easily dismantled, humiliated and left alone without backup. Not a good position to be in when being hunted down (aka, life)

Girls, keep your girlfriends close and your interests varied. Girlfriends will back your shit up with the chips are down and if you’re not afraid to smudge the mascara a bit then you can kick some major arse! Don’t worry, you can always keep a makeup compact in your purse, for the touch up afterwards.

Should girls kick arses or are they better off just using sex to get what they want? Is not using sex too utopian for the society we live in – do women HAVE to use their sexuality to their advantage in order to get ahead, not just in work but in life, generally speaking?
How do men use their sexuality to get what THEY want – and why doesn’t anyone ever call them on it?

Tender Age In Bloom

Lately, and by lately I mean the past 10 years, there has been a bit of a backlash against Nirvana’s Nervermind. When Triple J first started their infamous hottest 100 countdown it was an “of all time” countdown. Love will tear us apart – Joy Division was at #1 two years running – and understandably so. The song is nothing short of masterful. In 1991 – two things of consequence happened:

1 – Nirvana’s Nevermind was released.
2 – ummmm… ???

Okay, perhaps a few other things happened but trust me these were the biggies. The next year, in the hottest 100 of all time Smells like Teen Spirit – Nirvana topped Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division to become the hottest song of all time – according to Triple J listeners. That’s a pretty big deal, considering LWTUA had been around for a good 11 years and SLTS only for a few months. The next year the countdown became more localised – songs from one year only.

Nevermind was soon touted as a classic album. Various – hell pretty much ALL – music magazines around that time and beyond have put Nevermind at the top (or near enough) of their best ever rock albums lists. The backlash began a few years later when people started saying ‘it’s just another grunge album – I don’t see what’s so good about it’.

Okay, personally I think if you can’t see what’s so good about Nevermind then you might have other developmental problems too. Either you are stuck in the 60s or you listen exclusively to Celine Dion. The album is nothing short of a masterpiece. It’s a package. You don’t buy Nevermind listen only to Smells like Teen Spirit and then put it back on the shelf. This is an album you listen to the whole way through – on repeat – not just because you’re a fan but because really it’s that good. Relatively speaking, if you look at all the music made in the last 50 years there are really only a few hundred albums that you could truly say are worth listening to all the way through – repeatedly and without irony. This is one of them. Being popular, doesn’t make it any less special.

My first memory of Nevermind was of my friend E telling me that her younger sister had left her Nevermind tape (yes tape) in full sunlight on a 40 degree day in the car and now it wouldn’t play anymore. S was apparently driving the family nuts – E in particular. I hadn’t heard the full album by this stage, only the big hits. I knew of Bleach which was mine by proxy, courtesy of the my local library’s borrowing register – which I thought was okay, but only in parts. A few weeks later and because of that conversation I had with E I bought Nevermiind for myself and have never looked back.

I don’t think I can accurately explain the excitement and vibe created by Nirvana back in the early 90s but I’ll say that you could smell something different in the air. This was a new beginning for music fans. Until that stage music had been going the way of a pop wasteland extravaganza – not in a good way. The late 80s and early 90s mainstream was littered with Technotronic, Whitney Houston, Wilson Phillips and Roxette. Things were really bad. Nirvana’s music was pop don’t get me wrong but – it was also incredibly sincere. I remember being relieved to finally hear *real* instruments again – ones that weren’t warped by overproduction like other bands around that time. I think it woke a lot of people in the music industry up and from then on music made a big shift for the better. It was an exciting time – literally the most defining musical moment of my lifetime thus far – and surely of a whole generation of musical artists.

Nirvana defines my first drunken moment, my first kiss (or rather my first drunken kiss, ha!), my obsession and my sadness. When Kurt died, it broke my heart. I know it sounds trite and melodramatic but that’s just how it was. It was like that for a lot of people of my generation who had suffered their lives with a soundtrack of Nirvana songs too.

Sometimes I hear people say “I just don’t see what’s so good about Nirvana” or that old favourite “they’re overrated” and I’m reminded about this quote from the movie Clueless:

TRAVIS: The way I feel about the Rolling Stones is the way my kids are going to feel about Nine Inch Nails, so I really shouldn’t torment my Mom anymore, huh?

Exactly. Maybe everyone that comes after my generation (that is people who were 13-28 when Nevermind first came out) – yes all those little ones that were born post 1984 who I think of as still not quite out of their nappies and on solid foods yet don’t get it because they simply weren’t around for the music to have a real effect.. Maybe those kids will one day understand how important Nirvana was and just how utterly magnificent this album really is. How long does it take for perspective to turn an album into a classic anyway?

Then again, maybe I’m the one lacking perspective. Maybe I’m too young to really understand the artists that came before Nirvana, those big guns – like Pink Floyd – artists that I wasn’t there to witness for myself either. I like to think I’m pretty well rounded though, and my MM choices have included a range of musical styles and eras. Then again, who knows? Maybe I’ve been charmed by Kurt’s twisted pain, his quirky rock hero reluctance, his apt Neil Young quote; it’s better to burn out than to fade away scrawled for the world to see in Who Magazine after his suicide. And I have to say yes, it’s all part of it. Either way with my recommendation or not – this album may only be a blip on the musical radar relatively speaking but it was a blip that defined musical change. It was a great moment in music. You don’t have to like it for that to be true, but I think you do have to respect it.

I guess you just had to be there.

Two from Nevermind

In Bloom – Nirvana

Lithium – Nirvana

And two from other albums….

Aneurysm – Nirvana

Heart Shaped Box – Nirvana

…and one random.

Marigold – Nirvana (which funnily enough, was all Dave Grohl – but I just adore this song)

A squishy list of Australian things.

Australia day was served up to me this morning via a smallish flag atop a lovely dish of breakfast in North Melbourne as the sun beat down from the bluest sky. My post today is actually one that was from the old blog. I wrote it a few years ago but haven’t posted it here and it’s one of my favourite posts I’ve written about Australia day.

You might not get all the references and you know what? That’s a good thing.

As Australian as..

a pot of cold beer (letting the kids drink the head), sunday cricket in the street, licking sunny boy dribble from down your arm on a 40 degree day, the insriparional words of Dorothea McKellar, fractured conversation in broken English from migrant women wearing black mourning clothes, souvlaki on the beach, Ned Kelly’s last stand, the stolen generation, drinking good Italian coffee outside a busy trattoria, fluro zinc on the tip of your nose, drunken singing along to the Hunters and Collectors, fear of red backs, slip slop slap, playing under the sprinklers while the sky turns pink above you, stubby holders in your football team’s colours, water bomb fights in the school yard, good yum cha, Cathy Freeman’s two Australian flags, free settlers, European Migrants, Bloody stupid wogs, Indian accented Australians, Indigenous to the land, Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.. oi oi oi, a friendly smile, a rude joke, heavy rain after a scorching day, Bert Newton’s hair piece, Ray Martin’s hair piece, Aboriginal Art in New York City, “My home lies wide a thousand miles in the Never Never land”, Tim Winton’s famous waves breaking on the West Coast, Uluru; sacred heart of the red centre, the dichotomy of Steve Irwin; both ridiculous and knowledgeable, picnics by the Yarra, having a bet on the horses, staying up late to watch the world cup, watching the 7.30 report on Auntie, revering Parkinson as god of interviews, holidays in Bali, drug running in Indonesia, American sitcoms on the telly, listening to the crickets loud song reverberate well into the night, Australia shaped car aerials on a VWs, vegemite on toast for breakfast, matzah ball soup for dinner, Burka’s adourned with beautiful broaches, duty free Bundy, coupling with GW, lamington drives, Dawn Fraser’s magnificent trifecta, Foreign News on free to air telly, The First Fleet, swatting the flies from your face, “you call that a knife?”, Holocaust survivors settling in Bondi, Whispering Jack, Kamahl, beaurocracy, Kylie Minogue’s fake British accent, Jason Donovan gone bad, Greek Greengrocers who know their shit, really bad perm jobs, Fashion Week, bush fires leaving a black trail across the parched land, twisted gum trees reaching their spidery fingers towards the sky, Kebabs outside night clubs, the gay and lesbian mardi gras, Making fun of American reality television, Opera House tea cosies, Eiffel tower calendars, learning another language, watching old men play bocce at the local park, blogging, David Helfgott’s mastery of classical piano, Baz Luhrman’s quirky reappropriations on celluloid, leaving European history behind for prosperity in a new country, Mabo, Mambo, surfing, skate parks, homeboys holding their pants up yo!, Koala Bear (but it’s not a bear!), embarrassed at ourselves, race riots at the beach, moshing at The Big Day Out ’till you pass out from heat exhaustion, Making fun of the politicians, men in suits wearing Burberry, men in stubbies wearing metho, arse not ass, shiraz, “Australia don’t become America”, a Maccas run at 3am, roast on the spit in the backyard, Buon Natale!, Happy Hannuka, a gift of dyed red eggs on Greek Easter from your neighbour, The Southern Cross; mother to us all, Waltzing Matilda; father to our theiving hearts, “not happy Jan”, Pauline Hanson picking at the scab, the myth of Australian ethnicity?, performing ethnicity Helen Demidenko style, drinking Grappa and singing loudly until the neighbours call the cops, weird busking spacesuit guy on the corner of Burke and Swanston, Bluey, the Packer media empire, 8-up doc martins with pink laces, gothic babes in pleather, plumber’s cleavage, Carlotta, Germaine Greer, Asian-Australian football league, Midnight Oil’s heartfelt political diatribes, Schindler’s List (yes Australian!), click go the sheers boy, “Hello Possums!”, fighting against conscription, beatlemania, ABBA Down Under, John “bloody” Laws, Making fun of the Eurovision Song Contest, playing Scopa while drinking Fosters, absolutely refusing to go near Fosters, Molly Meldrum’s hat, of course I can use chopsticks!, Multiculturalism, White Australia Policy, dole bludgers, Mandawuy Yunupingu, “I say Arthur”, tai chi on the beach, raves at the docklands, muck up day, Truganini’s determination, Rolf Harris’ wobble board, Come on Aussie come on!, Fish and Chips, suishi in a classy restaurant, Aussie battlers, bloody whinging pomms, the reclaiming of the word ‘wog’ in order to make fun of Skippys, Shakespeare in the park, Sidney Nolan’s historical accounts without using words, The big Pineapple, bush polka, ballet recitals, Macedonean wedding dances, the Japanese Gold Coast, still a Monarchy?, “you little beauty!”, making and bottling your own spaghetti sauce for the year, “there was movement at the station for the word had passed around..”, the Amercians poisoning Phar Lap?, Bicentenial coins for Australian children in 1988, take away curry, dim sims, The Rainbow Serpent creates land and life, bi-lingual families, European roots planted firmly at home (everywhere), working visa, dual citizenship, detention centre hunger strikes, diaspora; “from all the lands we come”.

It was never really one thing, was it?

Boys and girls – I’m talking about penis and vagina.

A friend of mine recently met a man online through a popular dating website. She’s very thrilled with him and indeed from what I hear so far he sounds like a really good person. Yay, for good people! High Five!

Anyway, since I am a ball breaker from way back I was asking my friend every question under the sun about their relationship and it soon came out that though they had been dating for a while now they had still not made the leap into the bedroom. I was surprised, not because it was such a long time to date without sleeping with each other, but because it was a long time for this girl in question.

She explained that due to a suggestion she heard on a popular daytime TV talk show headed by a powerful woman (you know the one) that it was worth her while to wait. By worth her while, she meant that it would have more chance of succeeding past a few weeks than not. My friend is a wonderful person; she’s funny as fuck, she’s lovely, smart, gorgeous, bubbly and positive and yet she never seems to last long with men. She’s not one of these ultra picky women either – she’s just your normal everyday kind of girl. She decided that she wanted to give the relationship a chance to develop before they slept together.

I totally applauded the move and she told me that although they were both frustrated as anything that they are both glad they have waited. They have gotten to know each other really well, they really like each other – really, they’ve discovered a connection beyond “dating”, they’ve met each other’s friends and families, are very open with the fact that they are “in a relationship” (again, rather than just dating) AND have discovered something about themselves which is really nice: That they are both gagging for it. Not just for *it*, but IT with EACH OTHER. They’re not just horny you see. It’s personal. Sounds pretty cool.

You know, I do think that people jump right into sex sometimes. I am no prude but I don’t know many people who enjoy *that* feeling of anticipation anymore. Sure anticipation exists with anything, including buying a pair of shoes and wanting to wear them but I mean this is a real anticipation, one that consumes you totally and one that is coupled with something substantial behind it.

In any case, though he is more than thrilled with my friend – her boyfriend still hates Oprah, lol. He IS still a man, after all.

But what say you?
Is there merit in waiting?
How long is too long?
Guys – do you ever put the lid on it or does waiting depend on whether the girl wants to (ie: you’re always good to go)?

(I just realised that all my closest friends who are married did not jump into sex with their husbands. They all waited a good deal longer than is customary in this day and age. I *do* have friends who have married their “one night stand” however, even upon examining that I realised that for those that did, they went back and dated them for a good while without sleeping together – even though obviously they HAD already slept together. Funny how that turned out).

Thinking music today courtesy of The Chemical Brothers. This song is awesome and definitely one I have on repeat (along with much of their back catalogue actually) a lot.

Hey Boy, Hey Girl – The Chemical Brothers